All the news that's fit to print

[WalterB]

A conversation in todays business world:

Employee 1: "I never got the file you said you would send."

Employee 2: "I don't know what kind of file you want."

Employee 1: "Why didn't you ask?"

Employee 2: "Why didn't you check your email and see that I did?"

Employee 1: "Why didn't you text me to say you emailed me?"

Employee 2: "Why don't you drive into a ravine?"

[CGYMike]

Apparently last weekend in Lake Okeechobee in Florida this monster alligator has been caught after local livestock started to disappear.

This beast weighs over 800 lbs and should break the Florida record for length of over 14'3"

Remind me not not swim in Florida unless it's at DisneyWorld

[Connie]

Something to think about on a Friday. Let's see who will get the right answer

[WalterB]

Easy. Got it.

[WalterB]

Ever since I first heard of it, I have had a passing interest in Pompeii, Italy. Today it is surrounded by numerous other cities and is spelled Pompei. But, 1937 years ago, it was a bustling city of 11,000 situated on the far flanks of Mt. Vesuvius, in SW Italy. It was a port city and enjoyed a bustling economy and running water, brought in via aqueducts.

But, on August 24th, A.D. 79 (some believe as late as November) Pompeii was totally wiped out by the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, which, in a matter of hours, buried the city and it's inhabitants under as much as 24 feet or more of volcanic ash.

My interest was re-sparked a couple days ago after watching a movie titled "Pompeii." It was, of course, a love story, interspersed with a storyline concerning life at the time and the eruption of Vesuvius. I liked it. Might even buy it. I liked the characters and how the story line played out, altho some of it was simply unbelievable. You know, such as the hero and his bud (both slaves) fighting off and killing something like 30 Roman Centurions in the arena. But even those moments were fun to watch, if you like the old action/adventure genre.

Anyway, I'm guessing most of you have seen the pictures of the bodies lying around where they fell and died. Of course, they're not the real bodies. When excavators would come upon a form, the body inside had long since disintegrated. But it left the ash which had hardened around it. So, they would open a hole and pump the void full of plaster. Once the plaster had hardened, they would chip off the ash and the form of the body was left. Then, they just left many of them where they lay, where they died. Pretty weird, but really gives you a sense of the tragedy of so many people dying at once, where they fell, quickly overcome by the terrific heat and the choking smoke and gasses as the pyroclastic flow overtook the town. This was a real town, real people, just like today. And I would bet there is a real possibility that there are people buried around Mt. St. Helens, as basically the same thing happened there. Except instead of a large city in the way of the flow, there were only very small spots of people, or folks who lived alone in the woods.

Bodies lying where they fell, protected by a display case.

Different angle.

Another one, dying in agony.

More

One thing they discovered is that porn is nothing new. From ancient Egypt to Pompeii, porn lived. Anti-porn activists would probably be surprised that, not only was porn not recently invented, but neither was the enjoyment of sex, along with several fun positions. These frescos were discovered on different walls around the city. And, would you believe it? Prudes removed many of them and hid them away for years. Only fairly recently have they been brought out into public view (with age restrictions for viewing them, of course.)

Texans didn't invent "cowgirl."

We didn't invent "doggie."

Girls being the aggressive ones,

Pompeii_-_Casa_del_Centenario_-_Cubiculum_-_detail.jpg (108.18 KiB) Viewed 121 times

Or different positions, besides missionary.

And Motta wasn't the first SOB with a Ball Bat for a crank, either.

pompeiiSUM_1736059a.jpg (113.18 KiB) Viewed 121 times

[WalterB]

I'm sure we all get Spam. These are the subject lines for a few of my recent inputs, and my thoughts about them.

Spam Email Subjects
1. “Make girls want you.” (Really? Finally!)
2. “Cecelia: Are you interested in me?” (No.)
3. “Ferdie: Are you down for right now?” (Down where? Australia?)
4. “Instant Sex: There are 76 females nearby.” (I sure hope so. There are 350,000 people in this town. Makes me feel good knowing at least 76 of them are female.)
5. “CamdianPharmcy: (“Canadian? Pharmcy?") You Can Save 8O% (Capital O, not the number 0) Right N0w (The number 0, not the letter O. Are most of these written by first graders?)
6. “Florine Fry: Busty blond angel in d” (Well, I guess that’s better than being “...in g” or “...in r”)
7. “I just found your profile, ur so hot.” (I know. It’s friggin’ 90 degrees out. I just turned the AC on.)
8. “I want a man that can handle a real woman.” (Deal! Let me know when you find a real woman and I’ll help you out. (Which way did you come in?))
9. “I’ve got a sexy surprise for you. SMS me @ 1-843-639-xxxx:” (Great! I’m on it! Now, what the hell did I do with that phone?)
10. “Want to see my nude selfies?” (No!)
11. “FW: Teenie blond fucked in her sleep.” (Really? You fucked her and she never woke up? What the Hell did you drug her with?)
12. “Are you interested in me?”( Again, No!)
13. My last bf dumped me... r u interested in sex? (Yes! Just not with you.)

[WalterB]

Want to know what getting old is like?

Getting old.jpg (53.72 KiB) Viewed 111 times

[catalina2]

I'm sure we all get Spam. These are the subject lines for a few of my recent inputs, and my thoughts about them.

Spam Email Subjects
1. “Make girls want you.” (Really? Finally!)
2. “Cecelia: Are you interested in me?” (No.)
3. “Ferdie: Are you down for right now?” (Down where? Australia?)
4. “Instant Sex: There are 76 females nearby.” (I sure hope so. There are 350,000 people in this town. Makes me feel good knowing at least 76 of them are female.)
5. “CamdianPharmcy: (“Canadian? Pharmacy?") You Can Save 8O% (Capital O, not the number 0) Right N0w (The number 0, not the letter O. Are most of these written by first graders?)
6. “Florine Fry: Busty blond angel in d” (Well, I guess that’s better than being “...in g” or “...in r”)
7. “I just found your profile, ur so hot.” (I know. It’s friggin’ 90 degrees out. I just turned the AC on.)
8. “I want a man that can handle a real woman.” (Deal! Let me know when you find a real woman and I’ll help you out. (Which way did you come in?))
9. “I’ve got a sexy surprise for you. SMS me @ 1-843-639-xxxx:” (Great! I’m on it! Now, what the hell did I do with that phone?)
10. “Want to see my nude selfies?” (No!)
11. “FW: Teenie blond fucked in her sleep.” (Really? You fucked her and she never woke up? What the Hell did you drug her with?)
12. “Are you interested in me?”( Again, No!)
13. My last bf dumped me... r u interested in sex? (Yes! Just not with you.)

You mean all those emails I saved were bogus????

[WalterB]

This has got to be about the silliest thing I've ever heard of. All I know is I don't want a light coming on in my toilet at 2 AM and scaring the beJesus out of me.

https://www.buybowllight.com/

PS: I've got a night light that cost about 1/3rd of this that works just fine.

[WalterB]

You think life is rough in America? You really have no clue what it's like in places like Qatar. Qatar is 77% Muslim.

A Dutch woman was held prisoner for 3 months after reporting that she was raped. The charge? Adultery, for having sex out of wedlock. Fine $845. She was immediately detained after making the report. After Dutch authorities stepped in on her behalf, she was released with a "suspended sentence." It is unclear what sentence (if any) was given to the man she accused.

While at a bar, she believes that someone "messed with her drink." Her memory became hazy, and she later woke up alone, her clothes torn and obviously the victim of a rape.

Qatar operates under an Islamic-based legal code.

Remember, people, when traveling in a foreign land, you are subject to their laws, rules and regulations. And America will be very hard-pressed to help you.

[WalterB]

Scientific Facts:

WARNING! I have NOT processed this through SNOPES.

If you look too long without sunglasses, one of your eyes will turn black.

[WalterB]

Ok, what's up with this? People are criticizing the BBC sports reporter for wearing a short skirt (some say no knickers? Seems ok with me,) while not saying a word about the fact that she started her career on a children's show called "Blue Peter?" Was this part of the ""See Dick Build a Tent" series?

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/tv-viewers-sla ... rt-1574776

[CGYMike]

Have any of those people tuned into the Women's Beach Volleyball coverage? And they are complaining about a short skirt?

Oh...Go Australia !!!

[WalterB]

.
How is your luck running?

One suspect has been shot multiple times and a second fled (ya think?) after the men attempted to rob a Houston-area fast-food restaurant where two off-duty sheriffs deputies had stopped to eat.

Now why would you attempt to rob a fast-food restaurant in the first place? I mean, there's only 30 witnesses around, along with 10 security cameras, any one of which can (and will) capture your pretty little 1080p HD image for broadcast on the evening news. Of course, no one ever accused criminals of being the sharpest tacks on the bulletin board. And to pick one where two (well-armed) sheriffs deputies are eating? Do you maybe want to wait til tomorrow to buy those lottery tickets with your take? Oh wait, you're gonna have to wait 6 - 10 to buy those tickets,

And, #2, from good old El Paso, called "Plan your get-away carefully:"

An Austin-area man (well there you go. He thought El Paso police still used horses,) charged with robbery remained jailed Monday after being arrested by bicycle police (Seriously? You get arrested by two guys on bicycles?) shortly after a Downtown bank robbery attempt, officials said.

The article doesn't state how the robber planned his get-away, but it seems he never got that far.

Officers entered the bank and arrested Tillman without incident while he was still at the teller window.

Second guy in line, taps first guy on shoulder, "Excuse me. Don't look now, but I'm a cop with a gun in your back and you're busted."

I guess to some people, bank robbery is a leisure-time activity. I mean, no need to hurry. This is El Paso. Robber "thinks," (excuse the expression,) "It'll take time for the sheriff to get his horse saddled and ride over here. I've got plenty of time. Wait, what's that? What's the guy behind me whispering?"

[WalterB]

Couple more spams. These never fail to amaze me.

1. From Taste Me: "I would like to suck you off." (Ok, so, how would I taste you if you are sucking me off? Wait! I don't wanna know. It ain't gonna happen regardless.)

2. From 69leader: "So hey let's do something together." (Hey, great idea. Let's delete Spam Email together. Ready? Set? "Click")

[WalterB]

Ok, I finally fingered out what I am. Only took me 73 years, lol. (no comments from the Peanut Gallery - )

I've heard about "Baby Boomers" for years. They are people born between 1946, after the end of WWII until around 1970 or so. But then along came "Gen-X." Now, what the Hell is THAT? Then, if that wasn't enough, now they've got millennials. AAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Well, finally comes a list that actually explains what the hell those are. Well, kind of. And the source? Why, the media, of course. What more trustworthy news source than the media, right?

And it's not really a list, either. I made it a list. Yay, Me! Actually, the info was scattered throughout an Editorial in my morning paper. And even them, Millennials seem to be defined as two separate age groups. So, who knows? Not me. And apparently, not my newspaper, either. These eras are based on year of birth, not the years of "influence." For example, from birth to age 8, you are a young kid, not responsible (or capable of) much of anything. Age 8 - 12, an "older" kid. You have more freedoms, are a little more knowledgeable about life and a little capable of taking care of yourself. You start becoming aware of music, and music starts to help define who you are. Age 13 - 18, you grow thru your teenage years. You continue to get smarter and more independent. By age 18, you are pretty much ready to step out into society and live on your own. You are old enough to go to war, to kill and be killed, but not old enough to drink a beer (legally.) I would say that age 18 is where you can be identified as a "Gen Xer," "Millennial" or whatever. You earn the "Old Fucker" badge at age 70.

Star Trek: Generations --

Age (Year of birth)

71 - ?? (1945 -back) The Silent and Greatest Generation. It's called The Greatest, because these parents were the folks who were born prior to and lived through WWII. That makes it about the parents, not about the kids born then. Kids born during this generation (me) wouldn't begin asserting themselves for a long time. To me, they were led into the future by their children, the Flower Children of the mid - late 60's.

52 - 70: (1946 - 1970): Baby Boomers - These are folks born at the end of WWII. People really felt relieved for the first time in years. They could now see a bright future, and the economy reflected that. So, people celebrated by, what else, fucking and making babies. 1970 saw the end of the Hippie generation and the beginning of the so-called GEN X. Mores, ideas, ideals, fashions, music, movies, all began to change right about 1970. Gone were the free-loving day of the 60's, the "Tune in, Turn on, Drop out" generation.

30 - 51: (1965 - 1986) Gen X - I have no clue as to what "Gen X" actually means. The 1970's saw major change in culture. Electronics really started coming to the forefront. Cassettes and 8 tracks gave way to CD's, as did the floppy disks of early computers. VHS Tapes beat out BetaMax as the video recorder medium, even tho, to me, Betamax was a much higher quality. My feeling is that BetaMax tapes were only good for 4-1/2 hours, while VHS was good for 6. I think that's what sparked people into choosing VHS over Beta.

18 - 30 (or 35, depending on which number you believe. The Gen X definition dictates 30 (1986 - 1998.)) Millennials - I have no clue as to what "millennials" actually means. Micro electronics really starts pushing thru. Personal home computers are developed and immediately start getting smaller. Satellite telephones give way to wireless phones, which segue into small personal computers, which happens to include phones. They allow you to sit in the city park watching a movie or sports or whatever, or to wander around the city in some mindless game called "Pokeman Go."

Folks born after 1998 are still "kids." They haven't begun to really make their mark on the world. But they soon will.

Vicky and Rokkerr are "Gen Xers." I'm an "Old Fucker."

[WalterB]

Question: (From Mayo Clinic web site)

Is there research to support the theory that frequent ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate cancer?

Answers from Erik P. Castle, M.D.
At this time, there is no conclusive evidence that frequent ejaculation reduces the risk of prostate cancer.

Some studies have suggested that men with a higher frequency of ejaculations may have a slightly lower risk of prostate cancer. However, this difference appears to be very small. Other studies haven't supported this conclusion.

Don't care if there's no support. I'm keeping it up. I see no need to stop now.

[WalterB]

Ok, this is wrong on so many levels....

Mr. Hands had too much fun with a horse and lost his life because of it.

While he wasn’t exactly attacked by an animal, he was penetrated by one. Pinyan was an American Boeing engineer who enjoyed making love with horses. (making love? We call it butt-fucking. )
In July 2005, while his friend was videotaping him receiving anal from the horse, Pinyan suffered a perforated colon. He was dropped off at the Enumclaw Community Hospital anonymously and rushed to the Emergency room. He ended up passing doing something he loved and it even became a subject in the documentary Zoo.
Due to his passing, Washington passed a bill prohibiting any sexual acts with animals and the videotaping of the same. Bestiality is now a Class C felony punishable by five years in prison. One guy ruined it for everyone.

(Seriously? You need a law to keep people from doing this? "Hey, Jimmy, Quit fucking that sheep. It's against the law."

"Oh, Ok. I'll stop. Just give me a few more strokes -- I mean, seconds."

[WalterB]

In case you were wondering:

You are 27078 days old.
Which is 3868 weeks and 2 days.

That's 74 years and 49 days, including 19 leap days,
or 74 years, 7 weeks and 0 days.

In other words, that's 889.6 months.
Therefore, you are 74.13 years old.

You were born on a Thursday, your last birthday was a Saturday
and your next one will be on a Sunday.

Interested in your numbers?
http://jalu.ch/coding/days/en

[WalterB]

.
I have now officially heard of Everything!