Drew is not in a great place

[stickyvicky]

YES! I fully agree! Do the therapy too, but save enough for hookers! I'm not kidding! That is money well spent! There is nothing wrong with it babe! You are single! Nothing to feel guilty about. Go for it!

[TheBoy]

When you put it like that, I think I have to do it lol ;) I checked out a few girls who are fairly local so it's good to know there are options. Plus, when I think about it, the world is my oyster in this situation I guess - I don't have to take what's available or whose willing. If I want to go for it with a 22 year old Polish girl, then what's stopping me!

Thanks for all the encouragement and advice once again. It really does mean so much!

[catalina2]

fascinating thread. I have no clue who you are, Drew, but you've revealed a great deal with the initial monologue. Of all the comments, I have to say Vicky's are the most appropriate. I'll "splain". While at college I was fortunate enough to take a course based upon the theories of Gordon Allport. This was one remarkable man. He eschewed both the Freudian theorists and the behaviorists. His concept of personality was based upon the observation of a child and children in general. He had a brilliant mind. He discovered that personality develops from the person's interaction with his environment. If a child is not challenged or has little or no interaction with his environment (other people, other tasks that demand attention) he learns slowly and does not socialize well. He found that the children who interacted did much better in social situations and were more "comfortable in their own skin" so to speak. When he analyzed the situation further he found that the key factor between the two types of personalities was their feelings of "competence". By competence I mean the ability to confront a task (any task, i.e. fix a broken toy, interact with a father or mother) and complete it successfully. The more tasks completed the more competent the child felt. The more the child sought New tasks, new challenges and conquered them the more his ego (yeah, I know it's a Freudian term) grew. As the child moved from adolescence to adulthood he became more goal oriented and worked not for sustenance but for the feeling of satisfaction of completing a task.
Ok, so how does all this apply to you, Drew. As Vicky said, get out there. My suggestions while I know you have domestic and family responsibilities is to make time ONCE everyday for yourself. I don't think an hour and a half of a 24 hour a day is much to ask of yourself. Remember what Ayn Rand said "self sacrifice is a betrayal of what is the most valuable part of you". Keep that attitude in mind. An analogy might be, at the initiation of any flight the stewardess would instruct the passengers to "put the oxygen mask on Yourself before your children". What she is saying is the same as Ayn Rand, i.e. if you don't help yourself you're no good to anybody else. Ok, so now we have set aside some "self" time. What to do? Compel yourself to an hour and a half of vigorous activity. Of course start slowly, maybe just go for a long walk. Over time your stamina will increase and I guarantee you'll begin to feel better. After you've achieved a modicum of success, That's the time to compel yourself to work harder. Do half aerobic and half anaerobic exercises. Push yourself each day. This accomplishes two fundamental necessities in life - high endorphin levels and a sense of achievement, of competence. I guarantee this clinical depression will begin to dissipate but we're not through yet. Not by a long shot. What's next? What would be next - WOMEN. I'm not being facetious at all. Remember what Vicky said "save some money for the whores" (did she really say that???). She is correct for now you'll be doing essentially the same as you did with the exercise. Start slowly. Find an experienced "woman of the night". You said you knew of some in the area. Save a couple of bucks and spend just fifteen or thirty minutes with them just talking, no need to rush right in and grab her clitoris (just joking). Seriously, start by having a conversation with her only. So what if you have to pay for it. I'm sure she'll be grateful because of the novelty. Begin seeing her more regularly but don't let it become PLATONIC. As you begin to get a sense of her, become more physical. Don't be shy. She's probably seen every approach in the book. So put your arm around her while you talk. A first step, then play it by ear - did it make you uncomfortable? Tell her! I'm sure she'll grab your arm and put it around her by then. You see what I'm getting at?? It's like anything in life. You have to start slowly and advance. The more bold you get the bolder you will get and before you know it you'll get laid. As I've told Vicky, women are not as shallow as men. They have a tremendous capacity to look beyond looks, to the soul. The more intercourse you have the more "competent" you will feel and the greater your ego will grow. But the first step out of this clinical depression is up to you and I recommend exercise. It will give you a natural anti-depressant high and build your confidence just as Dr. Gordon Allport and Vicky both understood.

[catalina2]

oh, one more thing I forgot to mention. it's a platitude so don't roll your eyes. Just because it's a platitude doesn't mean it's untrue. "Each journey begins with the first step". Take that first step, Drew. You'll never regret it.

[stickyvicky]

OMG I find myself agreeing with Catalina... has hell frozen over? Did a pig just fly by? What is happening... lol...

Seriously I love the idea of visiting the professional girls and just hanging out and talking for a while... it's not a waste of money. And if you think it is, who cares it's your money and you are free to waste it or spend it as you wish. You could be spending it drinking or gambling or on a hobby collecting things or on cars or on whatever your want. It's your right to spend it how you want. You are young and single and should have fun with your free time and money so go for it. I am sure there will be people who say this is terrible advice, but you are an adult, a grown man, you do not need anyone's permission. You make your own choices. I'm not saying you should do this forever, just to get a little experience.

Anyone here agree or disagree?

[WalterB]

Agree 100%. I've always lived my life my way, on my dime, in my own time. Always follow your dream. NEVER let anyone tell you what you should be doing. Listen to intelligent advice (like Vicky gives,) but in the end, do your own thing in your own time and screw anyone who doesn't like what you're doing. It's not their life.

[TheBoy]

I feel awful at not replying for so long on here - but I guess that's a good thing in a way as the past few weeks have felt kind of 'normal' as work and a few other things have seen the time fly by. I wanted to say thank you to Catalina for taking the time to write such a thoughtful post :) I really am taking everything on board! I'm certainly on board with the idea of just spending time with escorts as a way to build up my confidence and keep browsing Adult Work to see who is on there. Thanks again to everyone who has posted on here and offered me advice. I can't think of anywhere else that I could have been so open without any judgement!

[stickyvicky]

Yay! So glad to hear it!

[PeterL22]

Hi Drew,
I have just caught up on this thread - I am so sorry I have not done so before now. It shows several things to me.
Firstly, Your courage to actually start a post and open up so much. I don't think I could have done it!
Secondly, Even when we feel at rock bottom and just that life is shit - we are not alone. Whether its virtually or physically, there are people out there who are good and value us. Also there are people out there who feel insecure or hurt/vulnerable.
The thread shows you getting stronger and that you have virtual friends who are there for you.
My only suggestion is to remember that you are Drew and you are a unique and wonderful human being - we can see that from your posts on the forum.
The world is a better place for you being in it!

[rokkerr]

Has anyone heard from Drew?
Just checking in on him...

[WalterB]

According to his profile, he hasn't been here since March 10th.

[PeterL22]

Has anyone heard from Drew?
Just checking in on him...

Thanks for proving my last post on this thread rokker!
No word from Drew by the sound of it - that's sad.

[rokkerr]

I heard from Drew by email... he's taking a well deserved break but will be back soon... especially because he is on the verge of winning the VNA Fantasy League for the EPL...

[George B]

I heard from Drew by email... he's taking a well deserved break but will be back soon... especially because he is on the verge of winning the VNA Fantasy League for the EPL...

I hope things are on the up and up for our friend Drew, thanks for checking Rokkerr.

[PeterL22]

I heard from Drew by email... he's taking a well deserved break but will be back soon... especially because he is on the verge of winning the VNA Fantasy League for the EPL...

Good news rokker - but don't expect me to be gentle on anyone in Fantasy League next year - if I can work out how to do it!

[TheBoy]

Hey guys! Sorry it's been such a long time since I have been here. As Rokkerr mentioned, I felt like I needed a bit of a break to get my head around stuff. I certainly feel more 'normal' now if that's even a possible thing to be ;)

Thanks so much for everyone's concern and kind words, I'll never forget how awesome you all are! And hopefully now I can be back to being my usual self on here

Right, I'd best catch up on the football thread... I'll put the kettle on and settle myself in

[PeterL22]

Welcome back ! looking forward to talking football (the real kind)!

[TheBoy]

I look forward too! I've just posted something for you to have a gander at :)

[PeterL22]

Saw it my friend - nice one. I have had a minor rant afterwards! - Not at you - but football still gets me going more than most things!

[stickyvicky]

Glad to have you back Drew!