Joke Thread

[Davest]

From the Yeah Mad group:

What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

One is a superhero and the other is a command.

[WalterB]

What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

Well, if you don't know, don't espect an invite to my house anytime soon.

[lance_s]

[Steinar]

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[WalterB]

Hey, that actually happened to me when I was maybe 5 or 6. Thanks for the painful memory, Steinar.

Actually I don't remember it. Dad told me the story. He said he woke up one morning to my screaming. He ran to me and saw me holding my crank and jumping around. Sounded to me like an Indian war dance, Except nothing got chopped off, lol.

[WalterB]

What if someone said that Vicky had a "Boobytrap" on each side, would you realize it was spelled backwards?

[lance_s]

What if someone said that Vicky had a "Boobytrap" on each side, would you realize it was spelled backwards?

That's pretty good wordplay, Walt. Of course, the party boobs are looking for a booby party...

[rokkerr]

[Davest]

From We got the Chocolates.

Karen was very upset with her boyfriend and tried to Lorena Bobbit him, but her aim was bad and she only cut his thigh. She was charged with a missedaweiner.

Last December a local church was doing one of those living nativity things. The role of Jesus was given to my Swedish nephew. I thought, "Christ. The Savior is Bjorn."

A mom was cleaning their teenaged boys room and she found a bunch of BDSM gear. She asked her husband what they should do about it and he said, "Well, we probably shouldn't spank him."

[WalterB]

I love that my cable network allows me to record shows for later viewing. It's a very convenient way for me to watch 5 minutes of commercials so that, right at the last second of the last minute of the last commercial, I remember that I recorded the whole thing so I could zip PAST all the stupid commercials.

Oh, I'm so cool. I've got ALL my bases loaded.

Or maybe it's just me that's loaded.

[WalterB]

When I die, I want to go peacefully, calm and quietly in my sleep, like my grandfather.


Not kicking and yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.

[ErikB]

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[lance_s]

"Front desk, may I help you?"

"Well, I hope so. This is Dave Brown in the penthouse suite. My wife is threatening to jump out of the window."

"Sir, that sounds like a personal problem."

"Yes, um, I agree, but, uh, the window is kind of stuck and won't open wide enough. Would you send maintenance up?"

[rokkerr]

From We got the Chocolates.

Karen was very upset with her boyfriend and tried to Lorena Bobbit him, but her aim was bad and she only cut his thigh. She was charged with a missedaweiner.

Last December a local church was doing one of those living nativity things. The role of Jesus was given to my Swedish nephew. I thought, "Christ. The Savior is Bjorn."

A mom was cleaning their teenaged boys room and she found a bunch of BDSM gear. She asked her husband what they should do about it and he said, "Well, we probably shouldn't spank him."

Don't be surprised if one of these makes it to Vicky's TikTok...

[rokkerr]