jokes for Sunny

[danamend]

Sunny thought she could get me a job in porn...cleaning up after scenes.

[danamend]

A lot of women tell me when they meet me that I could be well hung...with the right rope.

[danamend]

I used to think when women called me Bubba, it was a term of endearment until I learned they meant Butt Ugly Boring Bald Asshole.

[danamend]

I've learned there are certain names women don't like me to call them...my wife, my girlfriend, my ex-wife, my mom, my sister, cousin, neighbor, co-worker,etc.

[Sunny Lane]

I used to think when women called me Bubba, it was a term of endearment until I learned they meant Butt Ugly Boring Bald Asshole.

That is just funny!!!!!!! He He!! Gonna have to read this thread daily!!!!
xoxox

[h0rnytoad1]

A guy walks into a bar holding three ducks. He sets them on the bar and orders a drink.

After talking with the bartender for a while, the man excuses himself to use the restroom.

The bartender feel a tad awkward with just himself and three ducks at the bar, so he decides to make small talk with them.

He asks the first duck, "What's your name?"

"Huey," replies the duck.

"So, how's your day been?"

"Oh, I've had a great day," replies Huey. "I've been in and out of puddles all day."

The bartender asks the second duck, "What's your name?"

"Duey," replies the duck.

"So, how's your day been?"

"Oh, I've had a great day," replies Duey. "I've been in and out of puddles all day."

The witty bartender says to the third duck, "So I guess your name is Louie?"

The duck replies, "No, I'm Puddles."

[h0rnytoad1]

Stiffy meets a woman at a bar, and after a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place.

As they are making out in the bedroom, ready for the act, he stands up and starts to undress.
After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says,

"See there, baby? That's 1000 pounds of Dynamite!"

She begins to drool.

He drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging legs,

"See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!"

She is aching for action at this point.

Finally, he drops his underpants, and she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she is able to run out the door, and asks,

"Why are you in such a hurry to leave?"

She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite, and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

[h0rnytoad1]

I've never understood why women love cats.

Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night,
come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep.

In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

[h0rnytoad1]

A dog walks into a butcher shop with a purse strapped around his neck.
He walks up to the meat case and calmly sits there until it's his turn to be waited on.

A man, who was already in the butcher shop, finished his purchase and noticed the dog.

The butcher leaned over the counter and asked the dog what it wanted today.
The dog put its paw on the glass case in front of the ground beef, and the butcher said, "How many pounds?"

The dog barked twice, so the butcher made a package of two pounds ground beef.

He then said,"Anything else?" The dog pointed to the pork chops, and the butcher said, "How many?"
The dog barked four times, and the butcher made up a package of four pork chops.

The dog walked around behind the counter, so the butcher could get at the purse and
take out the appropriate amount of money before tying the two packages of meat around the dog's neck.

The man, who had been watching all of this, decided to follow the dog.

The dog walked for several blocks and then walked up to a house where it began to scratch the door to be let in.

As the owner opened the door, the man called to the owner, "That's areally smart dog you have there."

"He's not really all that smart," the owner replied. "This is the second time this week he forgot his key."

[Sunny Lane]

Thanks for the jokes ya'll!!! xo :)

[danamend]

women tell me they don't have to be drunk to be with me, but it really,really,really,really,really helps.

[danamend]

A cowboy goes into a bar on his first trip to a big city. He spies a good looking woman at the bar & decides to strike up a conversation. He asks if he can buy her a drink. She replies"OK, but I want to tell you right off I'm a lesbian>" " A lesbian? What's that ?" he says. "you see that beautiful blonde over there in the blue dress? Well, I want to take her back to my hotel room & have sex with her." The cowboy looks over at the blonde, turns back to the woman at the bar & says "Damn, I guess I must be a lesbian too."

[danamend]

I asked Sunny what she wanted for christmas. She said as little to do with me as possible.

[danamend]

I try to tell women being with me is like a fairy tale. Unfortunately it's beauty & the beast & I can't turn into a prince.

[h0rnytoad1]

funny joke i heard last nite, forgive the crappy shrunken quality the board only allows 2mb vids.

[danamend]

Women seem to want guys who are tall, dark & handsome. Unfortunately I'm scrawny, bald & ugly.

[danamend]

Different women want different things at different times in their lives, but at no time has a woman wanted me.

[danamend]

It's been said women sometimes have to kiss a lot of frogs to find their prince. Either they are tired of kissing frogs or already know I'm no prince.

[h0rnytoad1]

Dr sunny told me i had weight issues, i didn't believe her so i told her i want a 2nd opinion

She said "ok you're ugly too!"

[danamend]

Sunny told me she thought I was special... in a short bus kind of way.