jokes for Sunny

[danamend]

I asked a woman to marry me, but she said no. She didn't know to be Mary or merry with me.

[danamend]

I have no luck with women. Even my imaginary girlfriend won't have sex with me.

[danamend]

I think my doctor is trying to tell me something. I was prescribed a bottle of sedatives as one dose.

[danamend]

With cheap psychiatry you get what you pay for. I told my doctor I felt like killing myself. He told me sometimes you just have to go with your feelings. - George Miller

[WalterB]

You're lucky. My felame psych said, "Gee, I think I have some rope in the closet."

[danamend]

I seem to have couch potato relationships with women. They never work out.

[danamend]

I finally have something slightly in common with Sunny. We are both on sexual hiatus, hers from movies & cams & mine because no woman wants to.

[danamend]

As hard as I've tried, I can't find a woman's on switch. The off switch is easy(just show, speak or maybe touch her arm). I think it might be the clitoris but I've never gotten close enough to find out.

[danamend]

I lost part of my penis in an industrial accident, so now I go around half-cocked.

[WalterB]

Well, at least you didn't fall into the lens grinder and make a spectacle of yourself.

[danamend]

I was blindsided by love. Then it backed up over me & did a burnout on my heart. (sorry, sounds like lyrics to a country song).

[danamend]

I'm happy for Sunny that she's getting married, although she could have just told me she didn't want to see me again. At least she didn't fake her death. Some women will do anything to avoid me.

[danamend]

It's a great that Sunny is getting married, but now I regret getting a tattoo of her on my chest. I don't know what hurts more, losing her or getting the tattoo & now lasering it off.

[danamend]

Hiatus sounds like something an old girlfriend said to me once,"I hate us". We had a love hate relationship, we both loved her & hated me.

[danamend]

Some women must think I have a nice ass. They tell me I'm a nice guy but...

[danamend]

I offered to be in a bachelor auction, but was told I would do better at a flea market.

[danamend]

Sunny told me to give her a ring sometime, but her boyfriend beat me to it(not that I ever had a chance). Sunny must have known how her news would affect me. When I called to congratulate her, I was forwarded to the national suicide prevention hotline.

[carl goldfinger]

Hey dannamed,

your jokes are so funny!

Thanks and hope of some more

Carl

[danamend]

Glad you like them Carl. I'll try to keep coming up with more. Feel free to contribute any jokes you have. Thanks for enjoying them.

[carl goldfinger]

Hey Dannamed,

yeah I'm 'freakin Carl the machine' but I have a problem telling jokes:

I'm German and it's terrible difficult to translate German jokes, especialy the sense.

For example: A blond is standing at the road hitchhiking.
A low rider stops and she enters the car. He starts jackrabit like and drives off.
After some time she asks: " Why do you always drive along that wall?"
The driver says: "That's not a wall, baby."

Do you understand that? If no, let me know.

With greetings from good old Europe

Carl

PS: the curb