DOCTOR JOKE
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rokkerr
- Army Chief of Staff "Number One"
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A guy goes into the doctor's office. There is a banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot stuck in one nostril, and a cucumber in the other ear. The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?" The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you're not eating right"......
wearing my cockring 24 hours a day
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Tony D.
- Site Admin & Vicky's Sidekick (Lieutenant General)
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LOL, it's a nice clean joke Walt. Hey, even pervs can enjoy a clean joke once in a while. How about a few laywer jokes? LOLOLOLOL!
Remember years ago when the lawyer beer commercials were running? They had one where a lawyer was being chased by a bull in the ring and I remember another one with a lawyer getting eaten by a shark. And of course, who can forget all the "if you were stranded in a boat with a lawyer, a priest, and a "fill in the blank here", the lawyer was always the one thrown over board.
Remember years ago when the lawyer beer commercials were running? They had one where a lawyer was being chased by a bull in the ring and I remember another one with a lawyer getting eaten by a shark. And of course, who can forget all the "if you were stranded in a boat with a lawyer, a priest, and a "fill in the blank here", the lawyer was always the one thrown over board.
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John_fromNY
- Major General (2-Star)
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... if you are then Vicky's gonna make ya sleep out on the couch a whole lot more!!! :? :(rokkerr wrote: Walt..... at least I am not hanging out with mannequins!!!! (yet) 8) 8)
...And if you can't be with the one you love.., "Love the One You're With" -- Stephen Stills 1970
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Tony D.
- Site Admin & Vicky's Sidekick (Lieutenant General)
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Whatdaya mean a whole lot more Johnny? Is Dave sleeping on the couch already? Hell, they're not even married yet, I thought the whole couch-sleeping thing didn't start until after the wedding night, LOL! See, that's what happens when you live together in sin, LMAO!!!
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Benny25
- Special Forces Commander (Colonel)
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- Joined: April 4th, 2005, 1:29 pm
- Location: Southern California
Here's kinda like a doctor joke.
Larry complained to his friend Duane that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring.
"Get creative Larry. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try 'playing doctor' for an hour? That's what I do," said Duane.
"Sounds great," Larry replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?"
"That's easy...just keep her in the waiting room for 59 minutes!"
Yuk-Yuk :lol:
Click on the thumbnail for the animation
Larry complained to his friend Duane that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring.
"Get creative Larry. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try 'playing doctor' for an hour? That's what I do," said Duane.
"Sounds great," Larry replied, "but how do you make it last for an hour?"
"That's easy...just keep her in the waiting room for 59 minutes!"
Yuk-Yuk :lol:
Click on the thumbnail for the animation
.......and in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make. -The Beatles, 1969
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John_fromNY
- Major General (2-Star)
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- Location: New York
Here's one about a veterinarian:
A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too."
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. So the vet brings in a black lab, the lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650." "$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man.
"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests."
A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments, tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion.
The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, poking and sniffing the dog's body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead, too."
The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. So the vet brings in a black lab, the lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too."
The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650." "$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaims the man.
"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests."
...And if you can't be with the one you love.., "Love the One You're With" -- Stephen Stills 1970
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John_fromNY
- Major General (2-Star)
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- Joined: February 3rd, 2007, 8:54 pm
- Location: New York
Here's a lawyer joke
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you..."
"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"
A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side. The lawyer immediately grabbed his cell phone, dialed 911, and within minutes a policeman pulled up. Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it. When the lawyer finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else." "How can you say such a thing?" asked the lawyer. The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you..."
"My God!" screamed the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex?"
...And if you can't be with the one you love.., "Love the One You're With" -- Stephen Stills 1970
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