(Damn! This got long! Hope you can deal with it.) Hey, all. Been really busy since I got back. I took the long way home to look up an old friend in the desert near Laughlin, Nevada,, then drove straight thru to home. Was gonna leave LA on Monday, but decided to leave Sunday morning instead. Left the LA area at 10:30 A.M. Sunday morning and got here at 5:30 Monday morning (938 miles. Was 868 miles out by the direct route.)
First off I so want to thank Benny and Christine for treating ThisOldSlob like a king. They bought me dinner Fri nite, drove to Erotica LA and paid my entrance. This was my first time to meet them and, simply put, you couldn't ask for a nicer couple. We had great fun together. I owe them big-time, and am all ready looking forward to October and Adultcon.
The trip out went as expected for TheOldForgetfulFart. I am tired of forgetting crap when I travel, so I had an old small dry-eraser board that I put next to my rear door. Then, as I thought of stuff, I would go put it on the board. Great idea, huh? I thought so, too.
So, Thursday morning, I got up at 4, made my coffee as I packed the car, and by 5 AM I was ready to go. Once past Las Cruces and westbound on I-10, I felt I was finally on the way. Cruise control on 65, hot coffee, a warm burrito waiting to be devoured and my favorite oldies tape in the stereo (yes, TheOldGuy still plays cassette tapes.
) Ninety miles from home, the first shoe dropped.
Awwwww,
MANNNNN!! CRAP! I forgot my freakin'
maps! I spent time finding Benny's place and the KOA (Kampgrounds of America) on GoogleEarth, printed some pages out, and detailed my trip, so I wouldn't get lost. (No GPS in TheOldGuys ride. He's too cheap.) Aw,
rats!! I looked thru all the crap on the front seat, looked over my shoulder into the back seat, and felt thru all the crap there. No freakin' maps. Oh, well, I ain't going back 90 miles to get them. I'll just have to pray for rain or something.
I had planned to overnite in Blythe, Ca, about 610 miles from El Paso. I have two tents, a small one for when I stay overnite, and a larger 6-man tent for when I stay somewhere several days. Well, I hit Blythe about 2:40. Wow! Early. And, I still had just under 1/4 tank of gas. Damn! What's up with that? Well, I might as well get nearer to LA for cheaper gas, as I'm sure it's expensive out here. I had planned to stop here for the night, but it was only 2:45 and I knew I was only about 4 hours away from my destination, so I decided to keep going.
20 miles further on, the first sock drops. Man, I mean, that gas gauge just
dropped! I mean, I looked once and saw just under 1/4 tank, and about a minute later, that SOB was hugging the empty mark.
Well, OK. There's another place up ahead 10 miles, so I'll stop there. Just an intersection on the map, but signs said there was gas there. So, pull off at the exit, there's the gas station,
3 freakin $ and 12 cents for a gallon of regular gas??? (memories of $2.46 in El Paso.) Oh, NO FUCKIN' WAY am I paying that. Let's see, Desert Center is another 30 miles, I can make that. Should have about 3 gals left. That's 100 miles.
Ah, there's the Desert Center exit. Pull off, there's the gas station. Kind of dusty and scruffy looking. In fact, I remembered stopping here on my motorcycle back in the '90s or so on the way to El Paso. A car and a Winnebago sitting there. So, I pull in. Man, sure looks dead. No one moving. Windows are all dusty and dirty. Wait. This ain't the Bates Motel, is it? (an old movie with Tony Perkins, Psycho.) Aw, MANNNNNN! This freakin' place ain't OPEN. In fact this place ain't been open in
years, maybe since I was here in the 90s. Oh, SHIT,
NOW what?? Damn! There's nothing here. Well, I see a couple buildings about 50 yards away. I almost expected some asshole with a chainsaw to jump out, til I remembered I wasn't in Texas anymore (Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Horrific movie.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Texas_ ... w_Massacre
Well, there was a restaurant, which I wasn't motivated to eat in, a couple other (old) buildings, and, wonder of wonders, a Post Office; And the sumbitch was open! What luck. So I go in and ask, "Where's the nearest gas?" After looking at me like "Now, what freakin' idiot is out in the middle of the desert with no GAS," she nicely replies, "About 20 miles west." "Whew! I can make that," while worrying by now that I didn't even have enough to make it the 200 yards back to the freeway.
Well, I got no other choice, so it's back on the freeway and down the road. Sure enough, 20 miles later, at Chiriaco Summit, there's the exit and there's the Chevron sign. Pull around and up to the pump (this place is
busy. Must be the only gas for miles - say, since Blythe.
) Out of the car, check the pump. DAMN! Three dollars and Twelve cents a gallon? (Still.) That's $3.12 in English, for those dumb Texans who don't understand the economics of gas prices - the gas will ALWAYS be more expensive at the station you stop at than the station you just passed up for cheaper prices.
Haha, I got 'em. I'm only gonna get 4 gallons. That gives me over 120 miles, which will get me to cheaper prices in LA. HAHA. Cheaper prices in LA. That's a joke folks. Insert laugh here. I did later.
Well, back on the road, sure that I had it beat. I made it to San Berdardino and took I-15 north to Cajon. (Hey, Benny, I think I know what "Cajones" are, so what does "Cajon" mean? One of them? (Seems like I remember "cajones" meaning balls, and not the baseball kind.))
Anyway, I've been 130 miles and am near the Empty mark again, so I'll stop here to fill up. I get out of the car. The wind is blowing, and, as I get out,"Oh my freakin' BBBBBRRRRR-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R!!! I checked my thermometer and it showed 62 freakin' degrees. Damn, Benny. Thanks for telling me it was still freakin'
winter out here.
Remember them cheaper prices in LA? $2.93 a gallon. A whole19 cents cheaper than the last place, but still 47 cents more than El Paso. Damn! It HAS to be cheaper somewhere (It wasn't. This is the going price in the LA area.) I
did find one at $2.91 later, so that is where I filled up. Here, I took another 5 gallons.
Well, it was another 70 miles to my KOA site thru Palmdale, and the ride went smoothly. Out of the car at KOA. MAN! It's still COLD! I came from 95 degree El Paso to THIS??? I didn't even bring a sweater. Well, out of the car and open the trunk. Take out the big tent and AWWWWWWWW, Man, not
again! I forgot my freakin' TENT poles. I can't freakin' believe this. I needed to buy new ones anyway, but just forgot to go get them. Sonofabitch! Does it ever END????
Well, hell, I have the small one. So, I'll put up that one tonite and go buy poles tomorrow. Get the tent put up, get out the coffee pot for morning coffee and my sleeping bag and air mattress. The small tent has collapsible poles that go into the bag, so the tent goes up no problem. Unpack the air mattress and, where's the air pump. Not here. Maybe over here. Nope. Over here? Hmmmm, not there either.
(All together now.) Aw,MANNNNNNNNNNNN. I forgot my freakin'
AIR PUMP! SON-OF-A-BITCH!!! Aw, DAMN IT!!! CRAP!!! Does it never freakin' end???????
Son of a bitch. Well, no choice now, so, well, unroll it and just sleep on it. I'll tell you, tho. Sleeping on a deflated air mattress isn't quite the same as sleeping on one with
AIR in it.
And, as the sun sinks slowly into the West, so ends day one. (This is only the first day??? Oh, this'll be fun!!!)
Enough for now. More later.