My new "top ten best emails ever" thread.

[WalterB]

Yes, Liz. But they only work in Greece.

[Davest]

I don't see that he asked any questions or made any requests, so I think you're good, Vicky. Maybe just, 'If you have any questions, let us know' if you feel obliged to respond.

[stickyvicky]

Just got this one for Jelena. It always amazes me, why would someone go to the trouble of convincing someone else that they were Jelena. If not to hit them up for money, then why?

[Davest]

Why sure, every bit of that sounds true. No red flags at all.

[rokkerr]

Just got this gem in the VNA inbox... and people wonder why girls are sometimes terrified of fans...

"And May I Add That You Are 1 Nasty Diseased Ridden Skank That's Been Passed Around The Block Way To Many Damn Times So Much So That You Should Be Wearing The CDC Label On Your Sleazy Hoochie Mamma Clothes You Are So Unbearable Disgusting You Are Like The Twist Of A Door Knob Meaning That Anyone Who Is Anyone Gets A Turn With You Because You Are Such A Vile Piece Of Trash You Grotesque Cesspool Of A Low Lived Scumbag Whore.
I Hate You, I Hate Everything About You, I Cannot Even Stomach A Rancid Scumbag Motherfucker Such As You, I Only Wish The Worse Things In Life On You And You Especially The Stench Of Your Soul Is Corroded And Reeking Of Forsaken Tretcherous Sin That I Cannot Even Bare The Thought Of You Without Vomiting You Faggot Inbred Nigga You Are A Big Gay Bitch You Are A Rotten Asshole In Everyway Of Which Of Course You Horrid Disease You Should Have Been Aborted You Filthy Hussie So Fuck You And The Horse You Rode In On You Are Absolute Trash And I Hope You Suffer The Consequences There For You Reap What You So Burn In Hell You Fucking Dirt bag As You Are The Epitome Of A Terrible Cancer That Plagues Our Once Humble Society So Go On Down To 3rd And 4th Street And Twerk A Holler Worth A Dollar And Go Make Papa His Fucking Money You Wretched Gutter Swine Now Go Pick Me Some Cotton And Knit Me A Heart Print Short Sleeved T-shirt You Trifling Jungle Monkey Mistake Of An Incest Derived Hoe Bag Of An Unwanted Shit Stain On A Cheap Ripoff A Pair Of Used Truck Stop Gym Shorts And One Mo' Gen I Do Declare "I Cannot Even Stomach Much Less Fathom A Scumbag Motherfucker Such As The Likes Of You"
Courtesy Of,
Sacred King Andrâe Paul One Of La Masonic République And Of The European-American Jiggalo Society E.U."

[WalterB]

Definitely deserves "Come on fella. Don't beat around the bush. Tell us what you really think."

[ErikB]

Vicky has a horse? Cool!

[Anthony_JK]

Aaaaaaaand he types this with one hand while steadily and furiously jacking himself off and wiping the spooge off with the other....

[CGYMike]

Three things:
1: That is one hell of a sentence
2: I liked the use of Capitals on Each And Every Word
3: Who the hell is he talking about?

[stickyvicky]

[UncleDave]

Reminds me of moms Christmas cards I'd get each year.

Just got this gem in the VNA inbox... and people wonder why girls are sometimes terrified of fans...

"And May I Add That You Are 1 Nasty Diseased Ridden Skank That's Been Passed Around The Block Way To Many Damn Times So Much So That You Should Be Wearing The CDC Label On Your Sleazy Hoochie Mamma Clothes You Are So Unbearable Disgusting You Are Like The Twist Of A Door Knob Meaning That Anyone Who Is Anyone Gets A Turn With You Because You Are Such A Vile Piece Of Trash You Grotesque Cesspool Of A Low Lived Scumbag Whore.
I Hate You, I Hate Everything About You, I Cannot Even Stomach A Rancid Scumbag Motherfucker Such As You, I Only Wish The Worse Things In Life On You And You Especially The Stench Of Your Soul Is Corroded And Reeking Of Forsaken Tretcherous Sin That I Cannot Even Bare The Thought Of You Without Vomiting You Faggot Inbred Nigga You Are A Big Gay Bitch You Are A Rotten Asshole In Everyway Of Which Of Course You Horrid Disease You Should Have Been Aborted You Filthy Hussie So Fuck You And The Horse You Rode In On You Are Absolute Trash And I Hope You Suffer The Consequences There For You Reap What You So Burn In Hell You Fucking Dirt bag As You Are The Epitome Of A Terrible Cancer That Plagues Our Once Humble Society So Go On Down To 3rd And 4th Street And Twerk A Holler Worth A Dollar And Go Make Papa His Fucking Money You Wretched Gutter Swine Now Go Pick Me Some Cotton And Knit Me A Heart Print Short Sleeved T-shirt You Trifling Jungle Monkey Mistake Of An Incest Derived Hoe Bag Of An Unwanted Shit Stain On A Cheap Ripoff A Pair Of Used Truck Stop Gym Shorts And One Mo' Gen I Do Declare "I Cannot Even Stomach Much Less Fathom A Scumbag Motherfucker Such As The Likes Of You"
Courtesy Of,
Sacred King Andrâe Paul One Of La Masonic République And Of The European-American Jiggalo Society E.U."

[stickyvicky]

Ewwww
Hey stranger! Missed you around here!

[UncleDave]

Ewwww
Hey stranger! Missed you around here!

[stickyvicky]

Just got this one.

[Anthony_JK]

'Yo, Sonny??

Dewd.....dewd....Sara does not celebrate Christmas. Your feeble attempts channeling Jesus to shame her into kneeling to your shriveled knob......errrrrrrrrrr, convert her to your slave, simply will not work.

[Anthony_JK]

And also.....why is Troll of God surfing Pornhub to attempt to flip performers? One-handed worship and witnessing, I suppose? #HopefullyTheNonStickyHand #Eww