My new "top ten best emails ever" thread.

[lance_s]

Thanks for that George! He seems to be slowing down now... maybe he's tired of being ignored.

Here's an email I got today! I don't even know what it says? Translation please?

Really like the layout and style of your site and would like to share my interest with others in order to add addition support for your careers and bring good vibes...I understand that there's a lot of self awareness and emotional balance that needs to be developed throughout the endurance of the incredibly complicated attributes and concepts that come with the responsibility of satisfying the extremities of differentiating personalities and their emorional, culturally diverse expectations that rise under the gift of Love, L. ust, or even the need for somebody to spend their time wi th and have the added pleasant experience such passionate vibes with which you are so brilliantly beautiful and graceful and just exactly the right match for the emotionally distraught. Thank you so much for your strength and generous emphatic love. I hope that one day I am able to become a valuable contribution through comment and emotional support in person or online.

Whoever wrote this should be in politics or marketing or sales.

[rokkerr]

Lance.. if you're gonna write in to the info box on Vicky's site... why be anonymous?


From the inbox.... this dude not only wants to fuck lots of women but also advice on renting an apartment!!

"Hello Vicky Vette! I am a male and interesting in Straight Porn Actor. I would love to work for a Porn Industry. Is this a Porn Industry from AVN? I am addicted to sex and porn a lot. I like and love the women too much when women have sex and do porn. I need sex and porn great in my life. How I can become a Straight Porn Actor? Also I would want to know what's the salary and how much is to rent an apartment? Would I get to fuck a lot of women? I am extremely horny when I have seeing porn too much and I masturbate very often. Can you reply me back in how to help me reach my appetite for sex and porn. Send me a list of requirements I need to qualify for every questions the Porn Industry may have for me. Thank you!"

[Andrew35]

Lance.. if you're gonna write in to the info box on Vicky's site... why be anonymous?


From the inbox.... this dude not only wants to fuck lots of women but also advice on renting an apartment!!

"Hello Vicky Vette! I am a male and interesting in Straight Porn Actor. I would love to work for a Porn Industry. Is this a Porn Industry from AVN? I am addicted to sex and porn a lot. I like and love the women too much when women have sex and do porn. I need sex and porn great in my life. How I can become a Straight Porn Actor? Also I would want to know what's the salary and how much is to rent an apartment? Would I get to fuck a lot of women? I am extremely horny when I have seeing porn too much and I masturbate very often. Can you reply me back in how to help me reach my appetite for sex and porn. Send me a list of requirements I need to qualify for every questions the Porn Industry may have for me. Thank you!"

[lance_s]

Lance.. if you're gonna write in to the info box on Vicky's site... why be anonymous?


From the inbox.... this dude not only wants to fuck lots of women but also advice on renting an apartment!!

"Hello Vicky Vette! I am a male and interesting in Straight Porn Actor. I would love to work for a Porn Industry. Is this a Porn Industry from AVN? I am addicted to sex and porn a lot. I like and love the women too much when women have sex and do porn. I need sex and porn great in my life. How I can become a Straight Porn Actor? Also I would want to know what's the salary and how much is to rent an apartment? Would I get to fuck a lot of women? I am extremely horny when I have seeing porn too much and I masturbate very often. Can you reply me back in how to help me reach my appetite for sex and porn. Send me a list of requirements I need to qualify for every questions the Porn Industry may have for me. Thank you!"

I don't get it. What does this have to do with me?

[rokkerr]

Lance.. if you're gonna write in to the info box on Vicky's site... why be anonymous?


From the inbox.... this dude not only wants to fuck lots of women but also advice on renting an apartment!!

"Hello Vicky Vette! I am a male and interesting in Straight Porn Actor. I would love to work for a Porn Industry. Is this a Porn Industry from AVN? I am addicted to sex and porn a lot. I like and love the women too much when women have sex and do porn. I need sex and porn great in my life. How I can become a Straight Porn Actor? Also I would want to know what's the salary and how much is to rent an apartment? Would I get to fuck a lot of women? I am extremely horny when I have seeing porn too much and I masturbate very often. Can you reply me back in how to help me reach my appetite for sex and porn. Send me a list of requirements I need to qualify for every questions the Porn Industry may have for me. Thank you!"

I don't get it. What does this have to do with me?

British joke ... it doesn't.. joke fail...

[CGYMike]

Hahahahaha...the last 4 postings have me in stitches

[lance_s]

Lance.. if you're gonna write in to the info box on Vicky's site... why be anonymous?


From the inbox.... this dude not only wants to fuck lots of women but also advice on renting an apartment!!

"Hello Vicky Vette! I am a male and interesting in Straight Porn Actor. I would love to work for a Porn Industry. Is this a Porn Industry from AVN? I am addicted to sex and porn a lot. I like and love the women too much when women have sex and do porn. I need sex and porn great in my life. How I can become a Straight Porn Actor? Also I would want to know what's the salary and how much is to rent an apartment? Would I get to fuck a lot of women? I am extremely horny when I have seeing porn too much and I masturbate very often. Can you reply me back in how to help me reach my appetite for sex and porn. Send me a list of requirements I need to qualify for every questions the Porn Industry may have for me. Thank you!"

I don't get it. What does this have to do with me?

British joke ... it doesn't.. joke fail...

OK. Sorry I ruined your joke. This one went right over my head. Of course, my head being where it is, that's where most things go....

[stickyvicky]

Oh no! Where is your head? lol..... (teasing you...)

[lance_s]

Oh no! Where is your head? lol..... (teasing you...)

Yes, I knew I'd left myself open to a lot when I wrote that.

Sometimes a bird's eye view is good to have, but down low and up close can be lots of fun too....

[stickyvicky]

I got this today.

Hello I want some help, am in hospital under the mentel health act and I fancy a wank, and internet is age restricted, could you email me a porn scene, it would make me happy.

What do you think? lol...

[lance_s]

I got this today.

Hello I want some help, am in hospital under the mentel health act and I fancy a wank, and internet is age restricted, could you email me a porn scene, it would make me happy.

What do you think? lol...

Sounds whacky. If someone is actually in a facility where access to porn has been effectively blocked, there is probably a good reason why he or she is there. First thing I'd do is check the email header to see its routing and where it originated. How did they get your email address if internet access is restricted?

Or it could be someone trying to see if they can get a response as a bet or a dare.

[stickyvicky]

Or it's just someone with a screw loose trying to get free p*** haha

[lance_s]

Or it's just someone with a screw loose trying to get free p*** haha

Screw must be REALLY loose if they are going to this much effort....

[CGYMike]

I got this today.

Hello I want some help, am in hospital under the mentel health act and I fancy a wank, and internet is age restricted, could you email me a porn scene, it would make me happy.

What do you think? lol...

I read this to Connie...she rolled her eyes, and I laughed myself silly

[stickyvicky]

Got to love the Brits haha I fancy a wank! That's going to be my new favorite expression from now on! Do you fancy a wank?

[DrDave47]

And don't forget Vicky, that the British also say 'knock me up' when they want a wake up call....so be careful what you tell the front desk....lol

Doc

[stickyvicky]

I never heard that one before!

[lance_s]

And don't forget Vicky, that the British also say 'knock me up' when they want a wake up call....so be careful what you tell the front desk....lol

Doc

Shortly after she arrived in Canada, my ex (who is from Birmingham), asked in class if anyone had a rubber she could borrow.

[stickyvicky]

I've heard rokkerrs mom say that she smoked a f**!

How crazy is that? My phone is censoring me and I'm talking about a cigarette.

[rokkerr]

“Hey I’m starting porn do you manage or own any models. I want someone that knows what they’re doing who can help me because I’m going to become bigger than carter cruise and Kendra Sunderland together and still tour all around the world and impact people”

In the vna inbox - I’ll let the Connie be the judge... but he’s not going to bigger than Cartee Cruise and isn’t impacting me