All the news that's fit to print

[WalterB]

Esther Williams was a swimmer and a movie star of the 40's and 50's. She started swimming in early life, then competed in swimming matches. She started swimming professionally in her early 20's and became a movie star, making numerous movies with a swimming theme. In later years she started her own swimwear line and other pursuits associated with swimming.

In the 60's she was "lending her name" to a line of retro women's swimwear when she said, "Women worldwide are fighting a thing called gravity", said Williams. "I say to women when I talk to them, 'You girls of 18 have until about 25, 30 at the most, and then you have to report to me. My suits are quality fabric.' I put you in a suit that contains you and you will swim in. I don't want you to be in two Dixie cups and a fish line. [My emphasis]

I wonder how she looked at things at the beach when she passed in 2013 at the age of 91. In 2013, that's what the VNA ladies were wearing at the beach, two Dixie cups and a fish line.

[dave45]

LOL Walt. I think we like two dixie cups and a fish line.



Dave

[WalterB]

What the hell do you do when the cute little checkout girl is a major bone-inducer and you don't dare try to convince her she wants to fuck an old guy? You go home and lock yourself in the bathroom with a tub of Vaseline.

[WalterB]

For anyone that is interested, tonight will be a total lunar eclipse (that means the moon, lol.) It will be visible in the US, not sure about Europe. The actual viewable part should start around 1:39 Eastern. At 1:58 the starting edge should be completely viewable. At 3:01, totality is almost complete, and should be complete by 3:05.

The middle of totality should be around 3:45 and the moon should start to come out about 4:24. By 5:53 the entire thing should be complete. See http://news.yahoo.com/first-total-lunar ... cA94vQtDMD for these and other details.

An additional benefit is that Mars is currently in near alignment with the moon. Last night it was a bit "northwest" of the moon, so tonite it should appear "northeast" (upper right) of the moon. It should look pretty cool when the moon is in totality.

[WalterB]

Be careful what business expenses you document.

Expense Account for June 1995
----------------------------------------

1 June.....Ad for female stenographer.....................$5.00
2 June.....Violets for new stenographer....................$7.50
6 June.....Week's salary for stenographer.................$225.00
9 June.....Roses for stenographer..........................$25.00
10 June....Candy for wife....................................$4.50
12 June....Lunch for stenographer.........................$35.00
13 June....Week's salary for stenographer.................$300.00
16 June....Movie tickets for self and wife.................$6.00
18 June....Theater tickets for self and stenographer....$75.00
19 June....Ice cream soda for wife.........................$1.50
20 June....Virginia's salary..................................$375.00
23 June....Champagne and dinner for "Ginny"............$160.00
25 June....Doctor for stupid stenographer................$1,500.00
25 June....Fur coat for wife.................................$6,800.00
27 June....Ad for male stenographer.......................$6.50

[CGYMike]

For some strange reason Connie read that and started pointing at me!! Wassup with that?? :)

[WalterB]

I don't know, Mike. Got a cute, young stenographer??

[WalterB]

Hey, Sugerdaddy, you into politics?

Jacqui Lambie.jpg (34.32 KiB) Viewed 68 times

Sydney (AFP) - An Australian senator who told breakfast radio she would only date men who were rich and "well-hung" apologized Tuesday, saying she had tried to hide her embarrassment with a joke.

Jacqui Lambie, who took her seat in the national parliament's upper house earlier this month, told Tasmania's Heart 107.3 that she had not been in a relationship for more than a decade.

When the breakfast hosts suggested they help her find love, she replied: "Now they must have heaps of cash and they've got to have a package between their legs, let's be honest.

"And I don't need them to speak, they don't even need to speak."

The 43-year-old's comments prompted a young male listener to ring in to say he was confident he met her criteria, in part because he had inherited some money and had experience with older women.

"I'm just a bit concerned because you're so young, I'm not sure you'd be able to handle Jacqui Lambie," the outspoken politician, who served a decade in Australia's armed forces, said.

The senator then asked: "Are you well-hung?"

"Like a donkey," he replied, as the hosts tried to get the pair together on a date before the man rang off.

"I have that effect on men," joked mother-of-two Lambie, a member of the Palmer United Party founded by mining magnate Clive Palmer.

Lambie later apologized for her comments which followed a string of unrelated questions by the breakfast hosts, including how she took care of hairy legs, bikini line and underarms.

"When Kim and Dave on Hobart's Heart FM 107.3 this morning asked me about my love life in a light hearted segment -- I tried to cover up my embarrassment by making a joke," Lambie said.

"A lot of people laughed, some people may have got offended."

Lambie is not the first politician caught out on radio, with Prime Minister Tony Abbott generating a storm of protest in May when he winked at a presenter during a testy radio chat with a pensioner who worked on a sex phone line.

[AussieSteve]

there Walt

I watched that Breakfast TV interview here & couldn't help but my head off!

So refreshing to see a politician like Senator Jacqui Lambie acting like a real person & not some stuck-up prude

Also the Palmer United Party led by Clive Palmer has shaken up the political scene here in Australia even though he & his colleagues are rather eccentric (Glenn Lazarus, ex-Rugby League star is another of Clive's Senators)

Maybe the Sarah Palin's of this world could take note & become real people for a change

[WalterB]

It makes me rethink taking that trip to Australia, Steve. If I can't afford the airfare, maybe they'll let me ride in the wheel well of a convenient Quantas flight.

[WalterB]

Ok, do you believe this one? From the Toronto Sun, I have trouble believing it. But, then, every day, life brings some new oddity.

A Scottish woman who went to the hospital after a dramatic weight loss was found to have a sex toy in her vagina that she had put there 10 years before, a report in the Journal of Sexual Medicine says.

The 38-year-old woman had reportedly forgotten to remove it.

The woman also complained of having trouble urinating and sepsis-like symptoms, the case study said. Surgeons at the Aberdeen Royal Infirmary in Aberdeen, Scotland, removed a 11 cm-long sex toy from the woman.

The sex toy caused major health issues, including vesicovagina fistula, where urine discharges into the vagina, and bilateral hydroureteronephrosis, when urine can't drain from the kidney to the bladder. She also lost weight and was lethargic.

The case is "extremely rare but potentially life-threatening," the researchers said in the study, which appeared in the June edition of the journal.

[WalterB]

Well, I've been off line for a couple days. not sure what the problem is. ATT at first said there was a network outage. Then the second day said my modem was bad. Then, when I looked at the lights this morning, they said all was well, and I got on line. ATT is sending me a new modem, so I'll replace it anyway. Something has been knocking me off line, and I figured it was a problem in my laptop. But maybe it was the modem.

Anyway, off to work. Will chat more tonite.

[WalterB]

The Associated Press

Burlington, VT. - University of Vermont police say three students are accused of stealing a chicken from a Burlington fraternity house, killing it and eating it at a dormitory.

The Chittenden County prosecutor said he has declined to prosecute the students and all three cases have been referred to a reparative justice board.

Police said they received a report of trespassing and larceny Sunday at a private residence where members of the Alpha Gamma Rho fraternity live.

The president of the fraternity, which is for those interested in the agriculture or food industries, said they have decided not to pursue charges.

Police said they dont know the motive for the theft (It was dinner time? )

I'm not sure, but I heard that this was actually a talking chicken. It apparently knew over a thousand words. Unfortunately, none of those words were, "Please don't eat me."

[WalterB]

Ok, let's close out the year on a high (?) note. We're all doomed to die. And I shoulda been dead years ago, haha.

There's a 1992 song written by Queen guitarist Brian May titled Too Much Love Will Kill You. For a 23-year-old male Chinese medical student, the apt song title would have been Too Much Masturbation Will Kill You - that's because Zheng Gang died in February 2012 after he made his fourth sperm donation to a Hubei sperm bank in just 10 days.

The New York Post reports that the family blamed the sperm bank for his death and filed a lawsuit seeking $648,545 compensation. They claimed the clinic forced him to sign up as a sperm donor and pressured him to make frequent donations of his seed.

The court awarded the family only 5 per cent of their compensation claim to cover funeral cost. The family appealed the decision, but the High Court upheld the lower court's ruling.

The High Court said Zheng's death was his fault since it was his decision to sign up and release his sperm via masturbation.

Zheng began his medical study at Wuhan University in 2010 and became a frequent donor to the sperm bank in 2011. His regular masturbation sessions at the clinic was the best proof that he practiced what he preached since he also encouraged his male friends to donate their seed too.

On his fourth visit to the clinic in more than one week in 2012, the clinic staff decided to check if Zheng was okay after they noticed he was inside a private booth at the university's sperm bank clinic for two hours. When they opened the door, the staff found him lying on the floor. Although medics tried to revive the medical student, he was eventually declared dead due to a heart attack.

Males who know the pleasure of masturbation would probably believe that Zheng died in bliss.

Masturbation could be fatal is the message of a French film titled The Day The Earth Stopped Masturbating, released (pun unintended) in the same year that Zheng died. Here's the trailer of the film which has more than 8 million hits.

Four times in ten days? I told you, we're all doomed.

Are you sure you want to see the video?

[stickyvicky]

[TheShaft]

Ok, let's close out the year on a high (?) note. We're all doomed to die. And I shoulda been dead years ago, haha.

There's a 1992 song written by Queen guitarist Brian May titled Too Much Love Will Kill You. For a 23-year-old male Chinese medical student, the apt song title would have been Too Much Masturbation Will Kill You - that's because Zheng Gang died in February 2012 after he made his fourth sperm donation to a Hubei sperm bank in just 10 days.

The New York Post reports that the family blamed the sperm bank for his death and filed a lawsuit seeking $648,545 compensation. They claimed the clinic forced him to sign up as a sperm donor and pressured him to make frequent donations of his seed.

The court awarded the family only 5 per cent of their compensation claim to cover funeral cost. The family appealed the decision, but the High Court upheld the lower court's ruling.


The High Court said Zheng's death was his fault since it was his decision to sign up and release his sperm via masturbation.

Zheng began his medical study at Wuhan University in 2010 and became a frequent donor to the sperm bank in 2011. His regular masturbation sessions at the clinic was the best proof that he practiced what he preached since he also encouraged his male friends to donate their seed too.

On his fourth visit to the clinic in more than one week in 2012, the clinic staff decided to check if Zheng was okay after they noticed he was inside a private booth at the university's sperm bank clinic for two hours. When they opened the door, the staff found him lying on the floor. Although medics tried to revive the medical student, he was eventually declared dead due to a heart attack.

Males who know the pleasure of masturbation would probably believe that Zheng died in bliss.

Masturbation could be fatal is the message of a French film titled The Day The Earth Stopped Masturbating, released (pun unintended) in the same year that Zheng died. Here's the trailer of the film which has more than 8 million hits.

Four times in ten days? I told you, we're all doomed.

Are you sure you want to see the video?

4 times in 10 days? If that' the case, I should be dead a long long long long time ago...

[h0rnytoad1]

Did he make money hand over fist ?

[WalterB]

Wow!

Once or twice a year, The local newspaper prints a list of everyone with an outstanding warrant. I saw todays list and just had to count. The list takes up 4 sections, a total of 63 count 'em sixty-three pages. Small print!

There are 315 names in a column and 6 columns per page, or 1890 per page - times 63 pages equals, 119,070.

ONE HUNDRED NINETEEN THOUSAND in a city of about 600 thousand. That's 20% of the population that the cops are looking for. Granted, the warrants are for everything from serious felonies down to very minor issues. But if you don't show up for your court date, they come looking. This will be followed at some point by a warrant round-up on some obscure Sunday morning.

Guess I should go pay that old "beating off in public to a porn video in a parked car" ticket, huh?

[WalterB]

Upon first seeing this story, I thought, "Misguided teenager." Then I thought, well, things are different for a teenager. But then I thought back to 1962.

The story is about an El Paso teen who passed on a $10,000 prize in order to meet her idol, Brazilian soccer star Neymar da Silva Santos, Jr. in Spain. Well, I get idolatry, but can you imagine where $10,000 would go toward a college education? I wondered, so I checked. $10,000 today was about $1,277 in 1960. Sounds pretty paltry, doesn't it? But, in 1962, remember a gallon of gas? $0.31. Thirty one CENTS! I wondered if I would have passed up an opportunity to meet Elvis to get $1200. Now I would hope so, but then? Who knows? But I think the young lady passed up an opportunity to get a great education and very possibly a great future for something that will have passed a week after she is back home. I guess I would have hoped that her parents and educators would have campaigned mightily to convince her that a great education so trumps meeting a soccer star.
I wish her well.

Cost of a first-class stamp: $0.04
Cost of a gallon of regular gas: $0.31
Cost of a dozen eggs: $0.57
Cost of a gallon of Milk: $0.49

[WalterB]

Couple of updates from the "Ripley's Believe it or Not" file.

"Zookeepers at Japans Maruyama museum have abandoned a 4-year attempt to mate a pair of Spotted Hyenas after discovering that both animals were male."

Hint to Zookeepers: Look between their legs. They're different!

"Each Astronaut aboard the International Space Station requires 6 tons of water per year."

Guess where they get it. No, they don't ship it up on a rocket. C'mon, try to think of a yellow liquid that could be recycled. Yep, that one. Drink more beer.