Merry Christmas 2011

[WalterB]

Thought I'd start a specific topic for everyones Christmas wishes. I'll start it off with a real pleasure killer. Don't let the kids read it, lol.

Merry Christmas: Santa, the scientific view...

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300.000 species of living organisms yet to be classified. While most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2} There are 2 billion children (persons under 18} in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle most Muslim, Hindu, and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison, this is five times the weight of the cruise ship Queen Elizabeth II.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to acceleration forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion -

Even if Santa DID ever deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

[Rotten Rob]

You did the math yourself didn't you..! Showing your N.A.S.A. side

Have you ever dressed up as Santa Walt?

[Don1464UK]

He's got the beard for it Rob!

[WalterB]

No, I haven't, Rob. I've thought about it, but don't think I could pull off the Ho-Ho-Ho.

Reminds me of a Becker episode. He's walking out of his office, escorting a guy in a Santa suit to the door after treating his black eye. Becker says, "Santa, when you see a pretty girl out on the street and you only say, "Ho," she's got a right to deck you."

[hotjulie]

Walt are you saying there's no Santa! Oh no your so wrong, he's never missed me yet. Even 2 years ago when I thought I'd be alone, in walked Vanessa to spend the day with me, and a site that I love to be part of would have said Julie your nuts stay away! So I know Santa's real in my world, you should see the color of the sky in my world!! Walt all the numbers make no difference Santa is just another miricle of Christmas!!!! Walt I'm just teasing you cause I know you believe!

[WalterB]

You bet I believe, Julie. And I remember that Christmas when Vanessa came in, too.

I told you things would get better, didn't I?

Love you, Dear.

[WalterB]

I know a lot of you have kids or are around kids, and I know safety is your primary concern. So, to help you decide, here is Dave Letterman's Top 10 List of Most Dangerous Toys.

10. The Hula Noose
9. Professor Saddam's Li'l Biological Warfare Kit
8. Light-Me-On-Fire Elmo
7. Chutes, Ladders and Open Manhole Covers
6. Mattel Butt-Rocket
5. Rabid Snoopy
4. The Too-Big-For-My-Windpipe Jigsaw Puzzle
3. Mr. Potato Head Multiple Outlet Strip
2. Linda Tripps' "Lets Tape Daddy" Portable Recorder

And the #1 most dangerous toy:

1. E-Z Bake Open-Flame Oven.

(Re: #2, Linda Tripp is the "trusted friend" of Monica Lewinsky who taped her when Monica told her she had blown the President, then releasesd the tape and revealed the scandal.)

[GabbyQuinteros]

Hey Walt...i want to be in your kitchen too

What's with you and Vikcy in the pic...I thought you were mind

Kisses

[WalterB]

I got room for you, Gabby.

But, Vicky? Gee, Gabby, Vicky came here just to get naked on my couch, hint hint. Can you top that??? heehee.

[lilJebby]

Gabby, Did you let Walt cut in aHead on me as your stud man? LOL

Just know that i have an "En forma de hongo cabeza grande pene grueso" for YOU!

Gabby, ever wonder how I get my avatar to? How young was Vicky back then? Plus did Vicky really offer to "Pillage and Plunder" me before Rokkerr days? Oh do I love those Nordic Viking lusty woman! Now ladies like Gabby are equally as HOT for me!

My pic below shows my tender side for PUSSIES!
OH is this and not Christmas oriented. Hey this is a porn site? Note LOKI there is a dog in the photo too. Most miss that!

Bad Boy Jebby

[John_fromNY]

Thought I'd start a specific topic for everyones Christmas wishes. I'll start it off with a real pleasure killer. Don't let the kids read it, lol.

Merry Christmas: Santa, the scientific view...

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300.000 species of living organisms yet to be classified. While most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2} There are 2 billion children (persons under 18} in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle most Muslim, Hindu, and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison, this is five times the weight of the cruise ship Queen Elizabeth II.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to acceleration forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion -

Even if Santa DID ever deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Thanks Uncle Walt -- for ruining it for me once again this year!!!

[junket63]

Thanks for the science lesson Mr Wizard!!!!!!!!! hehe

[hotjulie]

I did so much Christmas stuff this weekend. When we got into town Friday night I got my nieces and we went to the toys r us store and each took a cart and filled it with toys for Santa's anonymous that's a charity for kids that won't get a gift and no kid should be left out. So we bought Gunther paid and we put the toys in the bin.

Saturday we decorated the farm house and then I took my nieces to my sisters kids Christmas party. We had so much fun face painting, ballon hats, unfortunately they were to busy to paint my face of make me a ballon. No matter it was fun. We went back to the farm and put up more lights till I had to get ready for a Christmas fund raise for the Children's Hospital. Everything was so nice except one guy was so drunk and I think he was doing crack. I was hoping he would stay away from our table but he came over and was starting to hit on a girl thats pregnant. Her husband was gone to get drinks, so I got in his face. There I am in a dress and telling him to leave or I'll kick the shit out of him. He told me he'd slap me if I didn't shut up and just as some guys tried to get in the way I pushed him as hard as I could. He fell backwards and over a chair. He was taken away and a guy came over to me and asked of I was ok. I told him I was and he asked who I was with, and he was so nice to me. He thanked me for stepping in and pushing that guy Later Gunther told me he was a dean of medicine at the university.

Today was my dads side of the family Christmas get together, it wasn't the same without my Dad and Uncle Charlie, but I had a good time and over ate turkey. I left early and took my nieces to see The Muppet Movie, if you like the muppets and haven't seen this movie you better see it. I thought it's a great movie.

[missfran]

Merry Christmas everyone

Francesca Le'

[Benny25]

I did so much Christmas stuff this weekend. When we got into town Friday night I got my nieces and we went to the toys r us store and each took a cart and filled it with toys for Santa's anonymous that's a charity for kids that won't get a gift and no kid should be left out. So we bought Gunther paid and we put the toys in the bin.

Saturday we decorated the farm house and then I took my nieces to my sisters kids Christmas party. We had so much fun face painting, ballon hats, unfortunately they were to busy to paint my face of make me a ballon. No matter it was fun. We went back to the farm and put up more lights till I had to get ready for a Christmas fund raise for the Children's Hospital. Everything was so nice except one guy was so drunk and I think he was doing crack. I was hoping he would stay away from our table but he came over and was starting to hit on a girl thats pregnant. Her husband was gone to get drinks, so I got in his face. There I am in a dress and telling him to leave or I'll kick the shit out of him. He told me he'd slap me if I didn't shut up and just as some guys tried to get in the way I pushed him as hard as I could. He fell backwards and over a chair. He was taken away and a guy came over to me and asked of I was ok. I told him I was and he asked who I was with, and he was so nice to me. He thanked me for stepping in and pushing that guy Later Gunther told me he was a dean of medicine at the university.

Today was my dads side of the family Christmas get together, it wasn't the same without my Dad and Uncle Charlie, but I had a good time and over ate turkey. I left early and took my nieces to see The Muppet Movie, if you like the muppets and haven't seen this movie you better see it. I thought it's a great movie.

What a big heart you have Julie giving all those toys to charity.
And an even bigger heart for standing up to that asshole and protecting that girl.

[danamend]

Sounds like Gunther is lucky to have you. You're beautiful, smart, kind hearted & somebody you don't want to get on the wrong side of.

[hotjulie]

Thanks guys, I just do what I can

[dave45]

I've already had my Christmas. My youngest son was hear for Thanksgiving (and deer season). I'm happy to report that he bagged a 5X5 (White tail) with a drop tang. He made the first shot at about 300 yrd's, tracked it for a little more than a half mile and put the finale shot into it at 200 yrd's. I'm a happy and proud man. I hope the Navy is as proud of him as I am. I will post pic's as soon as as I can get them down sized to fit things.

Dave

[dave45]

Other than that all I have to say is BAA HUMM BUG!
I'm just not the christmas kind of person.
Dave

[Highwulf]

Hi all and happy hols to everybody. May your days be as warm as the one you lay upon :)