Joke Thread
- stickyvicky
- Commander in briefs
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Love it! I"m gonna do that one on Instagram! lol...
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- stickyvicky
- Commander in briefs
- Posts: 26469
- Joined: March 25th, 2005, 8:41 am
- Location: Southwest Florida
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Walt wanted me to post this for you guys! It's ingenious! I have no idea where this show was! Somewhere in Quebec maybe?
http://www.vickyathome.com/clips/TheMagician.mp4
http://www.vickyathome.com/clips/TheMagician.mp4
Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.
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-
- Private
- Posts: 14
- Joined: January 13th, 2020, 1:51 am
not a joke per se but take any song with the word love in it and replace it with dick ..
“I Left My Dick in San Francisco,” “Bury My Dick at Wounded Knee,” “Dick of Darkness,” “The Dick of the Matter,”, “Dickbreak Hotel,” “The Sacred Dick,” “The Dick and Stomach of a King,” “The Jack of Dicks,” “An Affair of the Dick,” “The Dick Has Its Reasons,” “The Dick Is a Lonely Hunter”... Woody Allen, when questioned about his decision to run off with his adopted teenage daughter, would so tonelessly say: “The heart wants what it wants” ...
source christopher hitchens
“I Left My Dick in San Francisco,” “Bury My Dick at Wounded Knee,” “Dick of Darkness,” “The Dick of the Matter,”, “Dickbreak Hotel,” “The Sacred Dick,” “The Dick and Stomach of a King,” “The Jack of Dicks,” “An Affair of the Dick,” “The Dick Has Its Reasons,” “The Dick Is a Lonely Hunter”... Woody Allen, when questioned about his decision to run off with his adopted teenage daughter, would so tonelessly say: “The heart wants what it wants” ...
source christopher hitchens
- stickyvicky
- Commander in briefs
- Posts: 26469
- Joined: March 25th, 2005, 8:41 am
- Location: Southwest Florida
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Did you hear about the guy that went to the emergency room with six plastic toy horses up his ass?
His condition is stable.
His condition is stable.
Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.
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- LizLemon85
- Master Sergeant
- Posts: 803
- Joined: June 9th, 2020, 2:59 am
Which song does the sperm donor play in repeat?
Dire Straits - Money for Nutting
Dire Straits - Money for Nutting
- LizLemon85
- Master Sergeant
- Posts: 803
- Joined: June 9th, 2020, 2:59 am
Okay, so this is not a joke, but I think it's hilarious... best/funniest pornhub account EVER.
I love this guy
I love this guy
- WalterB
- Special Forces Commander (General, 4-Star)
- Posts: 31009
- Joined: December 31st, 2005, 10:42 pm
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Liz, here's a question for you.
Over here in the colonies we have a saying when we cuss in at least somewhat polite society. I certainly don't know how popular it really is, but when we cuss, we (some of us, lol) say "Pardon my French." Something like, "Oh, shit! I goofed. (Pardon my French.)" Or maybe, "Oh, Damn. I screwed up Pardon my French."
Which brings up the question, "When the French cuss in polite society, do they say, "Pardon my English?"
Over here in the colonies we have a saying when we cuss in at least somewhat polite society. I certainly don't know how popular it really is, but when we cuss, we (some of us, lol) say "Pardon my French." Something like, "Oh, shit! I goofed. (Pardon my French.)" Or maybe, "Oh, Damn. I screwed up Pardon my French."
Which brings up the question, "When the French cuss in polite society, do they say, "Pardon my English?"
I can resist everything except temptation.
- LizLemon85
- Master Sergeant
- Posts: 803
- Joined: June 9th, 2020, 2:59 am
French people never have to apologize, they cuss you out and it sounds like poetry
Liz is write, it's the French custom to be rude lol (I love picking on the French, all in good fun).
What makes you smile?
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Let me in!
We don’t belong here.
What happened to you was such a tragedy.
Limbo is no place for a soul like yours.
I believe I found the answer.
The angel with the burnt wings is waving you on home.-Bray Wyatt
I know you’re listening.
Let me in!
We don’t belong here.
What happened to you was such a tragedy.
Limbo is no place for a soul like yours.
I believe I found the answer.
The angel with the burnt wings is waving you on home.-Bray Wyatt
- LizLemon85
- Master Sergeant
- Posts: 803
- Joined: June 9th, 2020, 2:59 am
I'm a nerd, I immediately thought of that one scene in Matrix reloaded...
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[youtubeembed][/youtubeembed]
- LizLemon85
- Master Sergeant
- Posts: 803
- Joined: June 9th, 2020, 2:59 am
Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party?
...
He was looking for a tight seal.
...
He was looking for a tight seal.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALizLemon85 wrote: ↑July 21st, 2020, 3:44 pm Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party?
...
He was looking for a tight seal.
And then there is this one...
So a penguin is driving his car in the desert. All of sudden his car breaks down. Luckily, he's pretty close to gas station. So he waddles behind his car and pushes it to the gas station. He asks the mechanic to take a look and find the problem. Mechanic tells him to come back in 30 minutes. So the penguin is getting hot being in the desert and all, and decides to find something to cool him off. He goes in the convenience store and buys some vanilla ice cream. He eats the ice cream and makes a big mess on his face. Finally he goes back to the mechanic to find out the problem. Mechanic says," Looks like you blew a seal." To which the penguin replies, "No, no. It's just a little ice cream."
It doesn't take a rocket scientist, but I'll do it anyway.
- LizLemon85
- Master Sergeant
- Posts: 803
- Joined: June 9th, 2020, 2:59 am
Good one
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
...
One is a crusty bus station and the other one is a busty crustacean.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
...
One is a crusty bus station and the other one is a busty crustacean.