Joke Thread

[danamend]

What weighs less,water or butane? Butane,it's a lighter fluid.

[lance_s]

What weighs less,water or butane? Butane,it's a lighter fluid.

Now there's a groaner if I ever heard one....

[lance_s]

Did you know, Davest? Also, she sells sea shells by the seashore.

Ah yes, but did you also know that the sixth sick sheikh's sixth sheep's sick?

[WalterB]

Well, no. But answer me this - how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

[lance_s]

Well, no. But answer me this - how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Um, what's a woodchuck? A chuker of wood?

[WalterB]

Lol, a woodchuck gnaws (and eats?) wood. To chuck is to throw. So, actually, Your woodchuck doesn't chuck wood. But I hear he makes a pretty good Wood Pie. (Hell, I don't know. That's all I got, LOL.)

[ErikB]

Well, no. But answer me this - how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Um, what's a woodchuck? A chuker of wood?

Woodchuck, also known as groundhog ...

woodchuck_aka_groundhog.jpg (83.5 KiB) Viewed 77 times

[CGYMike]

Hahahaha...omg

[lance_s]

Lol, a woodchuck gnaws (and eats?) wood. To chuck is to throw. So, actually, Your woodchuck doesn't chuck wood. But I hear he makes a pretty good Wood Pie. (Hell, I don't know. That's all I got, LOL.)

I don't think I'd want to make a pie out of the one that lives in my back yard. Along with some rabbits and a skunk. We've also seen a racoon lurking, but don't exactly where he/she/it calls home.

[WalterB]

All I ever had were squirrels. They didn't bother me, so I didn't bother them, lol.

[ErikB]

Lol, a woodchuck gnaws (and eats?) wood. To chuck is to throw. So, actually, Your woodchuck doesn't chuck wood. But I hear he makes a pretty good Wood Pie. (Hell, I don't know. That's all I got, LOL.)

I don't think I'd want to make a pie out of the one that lives in my back yard. Along with some rabbits and a skunk. We've also seen a racoon lurking, but don't exactly where he/she/it calls home.

I have seen raccoons come up out of storm drains when it started getting dark. Do you have any of those nearby?

[lance_s]

Lol, a woodchuck gnaws (and eats?) wood. To chuck is to throw. So, actually, Your woodchuck doesn't chuck wood. But I hear he makes a pretty good Wood Pie. (Hell, I don't know. That's all I got, LOL.)

I don't think I'd want to make a pie out of the one that lives in my back yard. Along with some rabbits and a skunk. We've also seen a racoon lurking, but don't exactly where he/she/it calls home.

I have seen raccoons come up out of storm drains when it started getting dark. Do you have any of those nearby?

I've never seen one come out of a storm drain. This one was just ambling along at the back of the property under a hedge.

[Alydar$$]

More from We Got the Chocolates:
What does the penis and Rubik’s cube have in common?

The more you play with it the harder it gets

My doctor told me I had to stop masterbating. I asked why? “Because I’m trying to examine you”

[Alydar$$]

Why did Barbie and Ken never have any children?

Because Ken came in a different box.

[WalterB]

Alydar, what's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain.

If you don't know, don't expect an invite to my place anytime soon.

[Davest]

(text) I rode my bicycle to the shop to buy a bottle of gin. But then I thought, 'what if I fall off my bike and the bottle gets broken?' So, being a clever guy, I drank it all outside the shop. Good thing I did, too, because I fell off my bike seven times on the way home.

[Alydar$$]

Alydar, what's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain.

If you don't know, don't expect an invite to my place anytime soon.

Do you have experiences where this has happened? Lol

[WalterB]

Well, not this specific experience, I don't think. But my ex-wife DID decide she didn't want to live here anymore. I know I'm a real sweetheart, but there HAS to be some reason.

So I'm just covering all my bases, LOL.

[Davest]

here's one from our own Julia Ann.

https://www.tiktok.com/@thejuliaann/vid ... 4526934318

If you don't want to go there, she says, "If I sit on your face, I legally own you. Squatter's rights."

[Davest]

Here's another old one.

A married couple are in the bathroom. The wife has just gotten out of the shower and the husband is just going in when the doorbell rings. The wife wraps a towel around herself and answers the door. It's Bob, the next door neighbor. He looks at the wife and says, "I'll give you $200 to drop the towel" and shows her a handful of money. She figures what the heck and drops the towel to the floor. Bob hands her the money, thanks her and leaves. When she gets back to the bathroom her husband asks who was at the door and she tells him it was Bob. The husband then asks, "Did he say anything about that $200 he owes me?"