Mon, 02/23/2015 - 10:08am
Sam Brusco, Associate Editor, @SamISureAm
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I’ve said it before, wearable fitness tracking devices all seem to do the same thing. They monitor your heart rate, count steps and calories burned, and spit out data to be analyzed in order to refine your workouts – I’ve heard it all before. But Spanish smartphone maker Geeksphone is introducing a functionality that will really get your heart racing into its soon-to-be released wearable fitness tracker, GeeksMe. It’s basically a traditional fitness monitor, including a step counter, heart rate and sleep monitor, and it records the amount of calories burned like any other fitness tracker. But there’s a risqué twist for this one - it’s taking fitness monitoring from the gym into the bedroom with sexual performance tracking.
It will be romantic - just me, you, and this device tracking our every move. (Credit: GeeksMe)It will be romantic - just me, you, and this device tracking our every move. (Credit: GeeksMe)
The “sex tracker” requires manual activation, because nothing is as romantic as setting your watch in the heat of the moment. Once initiated, a specific set of algorithms measures the number and duration of romantic encounters per day or week, calories burned, and other “useful information” yet to be described. GeeksMe certainly isn’t the first fitness tracker to be used for this purpose, but it is the first to include a specific setting for sexual performance monitoring (that I’ve heard of anyway). There are no special sensors involved – GeeksMe merely takes any fitness data acquired between the sheets in order to foster a healthier sexual lifestyle.
The device also includes a “share and play” function, but I don’t think (and certainly hope not) that GeeksMe is intending this for the specific sex tracking mode. The site claims that the user should “share achievements with friends and challenge them to reach new goals.” This is a common function for a fitness monitor, in order to motivate the user to compete with friends. Combined with the sex tracker, though, there’s inevitably going to be a lot of high-tech locker room talk, with plenty of data for “bragging rights” included.
Monitoring sexual “fitness” activity may seem like a laughably unromantic gesture, but when considering the vast array of health benefits that sex has, it makes a great deal of sense. After all, it is technically exercise, and the, ahem, mechanics can be refined in the same way any workout can. (Better yet, it’s a workout you don’t even have to leave the bed for!) Hopefully GeeksMe will make the setting appear a little less cold and clinical and offer a “his and hers” option for couples who are truly committed to their fitness. You and your significant other can seductively set each other’s watches before you start rep one of your couples’ workout regimen.
I believe that the sexual fitness tracking setting could have an additional practical use for the elderly or those with heart conditions. It’s difficult to remain sexually active in those situations because of the health risks that can occur as a result of too much exertion. Luckily, GeeksMe also contains an “alarms and reminders” function, so you don’t forget to exercise. While this might be used to persuade a hesitant partner to “exercise” with you, (“come on honey, we can’t just abandon our workout regimen!”) perhaps it could be combined with the monitoring function to sound an alarm if the heart rate reaches a dangerous level amid the throes of passion. (This brings a whole new meaning to practicing “safe sex.”) The notification could then warn you or your partner to slow down, preventing an embarrassing explanation to an ER doctor.
See science in action.
DrDave47
