I need yous guys help

[lildrummerboy77]

In January 2019, I was browsing eros.com in Atlanta, GA. A very beautiful blonde lady( not Vicky) named Sophia West caught my attention. We emailed a couple of times back and forth and I started following her on various social media. We have never met. Recently she asked for her followers opinions on onlyfans.com. She stated that is receiving offers from major porn studios to start shooting porn and wanted to know what her followers thought about it. I told her in a private message that it was bad idea and I was very judgemental. I know that what I said was wrong. Who am I to judge someone for their life choices when I've made so many bad choices in my own life. Now she has blocked me on social media. How do I win her heart back after I have apologised?

[stickyvicky]

What were your reasons for telling her not to do it?

Did you tell her in a nice way? Did you have her best interests at heart? Why would someone block you just because your opinion is different than theirs, especially if you did it in a nice way and u were trying to protect them?

[lildrummerboy77]

The reasons that I told her are that when/ if she retires and goes to turn a resume and the person asks what she has been doing for the last 10 years? Is she going to tell them that she has been making pornographic movies? I also told her that I would pray that God changed her heart. I think what made her mad was that I am some guy that she had never met so my comments don't have any value.

[stickyvicky]

If you said that to me I wouldn't be mad? I'd say thank you for your concern. Unless you harped on it and went on and on....

[George B]

How do I win her heart back after I have apologised?

That's kind of a deal-breaker move, especially with someone you don't really know.

Apologize and move on. Wouldn't go further than that.

[lildrummerboy77]

I didn't harp on it. I said it to her one time.

[WalterB]

I'd agree with George. Once you've gotten on someone's bad side, it's pretty hard to recover.

[rokkerr]

How exactly did you say it? Copy paste?

[WalterB]

It's really quite hard to talk to someone "negatively" unless you know them quite well. When you talk to someone about their life's choices in a negative way, and you are not pretty close to them, it's very easy for the other person to get offended, or maybe get the wrong idea, or take it wrong. My suggestion would be, no matter how much you care, you need to be very careful, even tho you have the nicest of intentions.

In this case, if you knew someone who was close to her that could talk to her, you might stand a chance. That happened to me here once. I offended someone pretty badly. I wrote them a PM, trying to explain myself. That person wrote me back and really "ripped me a new one," lol. So, I immediately backed off and decided, "OK, I'm off of this one."

Then someone else stepped in and spoke to the other about me. I don't know what that person said, but the one I had offended decided to give me a second chance, and we get along pretty darn good now. So, it CAN happen. But, you have to tread lightly.

[lildrummerboy77]

I think that starting a porn career is a bad idea. Yes, the money is great but you also have to think about after you've made your last film. When you go to turn in your resume you can't write I've been making adult films for the last 10 years. It also doesn't just affect you, it also affects the people around you. If you plan on having kids then you have to explain to them what you did in your forty's.


I just want to tell you that I pray that God opens your eyes and heart and shows you true love and fulfillment that only he can give you. I pray for you every day. I can't stand by and watch you do this to yourself.

[George B]

I think that starting....

I'll be perfectly blunt, that message is not something that someone that's already on Eros, TER, onlyfans etc etc wants to see in their mailbox.

[lildrummerboy77]

I got it, George.

[WalterB]

If you can talk, calmly and intelligently, with a friend before she gets into the industry, do so. But I wouldn't bring up the religious thoughts. Religion, like [politics, is really a subject that people shouldn't discuss, unless you're sure the person you're talking to is of the same mind. I have my religious feelings and beliefs, but I don't like anyone trying to preach to me.

But each situation is different. Like George said? Very true, unless the person is a very good friend, and if she asks your opinion first. I appreciate your desire to help, but, you have to go slow, and be sure what you offer is wanted.

[lildrummerboy77]

I've tried to one of her friends but she doesn't want to get in the middle of it, understandibly. I think it has come to point that I ruined a perfectly great opportunity to meet the #1 escort in Atlanta and will never be able to do that again.

[WalterB]

Oh, there are others, Drummer. Just learn something and be alert for your next chance. Who would have guessed that I would meet Vicky Vette at 63 years old?

[SamanthaGrace]

I wouldn't take your prospective and opinion personally. I'm just that way. I tend to have an "opinions are like assholes everyone has one POV." But I can see how this would upset a lot of people. I see it as, when you ask a question like "should I do porn". You will more then likely receive feedback that will not agree with your own. I do not like being surrounded by "yes men". But a lot of people do. But I also can see how she would be upset. Walt covered that in detail above. A lot of probably comes down to how well you know each other. I don't see it deserving a block. But think of it this way.... there's are tons of others out there.


I actually discourage people all the time from getting into porn. Not because my own experiences have been bad. They have actually been extreme positive. But I fell into it and didn't have exceptions. It's gone way further then I would have ever dreamed of. I also, started in another era when internet porn was kind of a new concept. But I've learned, not everyone has the grit and personality to handle this business. You really have to have a very driven personality. The people who do well, are people to typically be successful no matter what they do. If I don't see that. I often discourage. It's not like punching into time clock or going to the office at set hours of day. Having a boss babysit you. Some people need sitters. Other people, work better on their own. Sometimes a corporate life would be limiting. But that's a very rare person.

[stickyvicky]

Maybe she blocked you because she thinks you're a big hypocrite?

1) You are an avid porn consumer, and you are telling her not to do porn because it will ruin her life? Do you see the irony in that?

2) She is an escort and you want to fuck her. So are you saying God is okay with that? But he should open her eyes to see so that she doesn't do porn? So God differentiates and prefers the escorting industry over the adult industry?

3) Doing porn doesn't ruin your life, people's childish idiotic reactions to us doing porn is what can ruin it. Hypocritical people who watch it, and jerk off to it, then tell us we are ruining our lives. The people who watch porn but then will not allow us to work in an office or as a nurse afterwards because of our past. The people who contribute to the stigmatization. My life is not ruined. My life is pretty damn good! I have wonderful friends and lots of support. How do you know that won't be the case for her as well?

4) she is in her forties, I don't think she needs anyone's permission to do what she wants. And you are talking about her having kids? When is she going to have kids in her 50s or 60s? I did not understand that part?

[lildrummerboy77]

Yeah Vicky. I am definitely conflicted between my faith and my love of porn. I have to choose one over the other.

[WalterB]

LDB, you shouldn't have to choose. I understand religion, I have my own religion and beliefs, and I do what I want to do. On rare occasion I'll even go to Church. To me, religion is about how you live your life and how you treat others. I don't think it means you have to go to church every Sunday. I quit going to church many years ago, when I determined that people go to church, sing and pray about love and doing good by others, then go out and treat others rudely and in a bigoted manner.

I believe that religion is more about how you treat others and how you live your life respectfully to all. And I think porn fits right into that. It's not about what they're doing, it's about who they are. Live your life treating others well. If they don't seem to be good people, simply move on down the road. It's not that I love porn (which I do,) it's that I love people.

Stop and look at the world around you. Even with all of the difficulties, the world is a glorious and wonderful place. I am also into space and the universe. We are really such a minute part of the universe. Go outside somewhere dark at night and look up. All those points of light you see up there? A few are suns, but the massive majority are entire galaxies, like our own Milky Way. Did you know that the Milky Way alone is over 100,000 Light Years across? A light year is the distance light travels in a year, traveling at 186,000 miles per second. Consider that, and how puny we, the human race, really is. God loves all of us, but he loves us more if we love each other. That's what I got out of Church. And I'm happy with that. I don't think that God is fretting over whether I watch porn, and that I happen to be friends with some pretty wonderful people in the industry.

[stickyvicky]

Well said and said well!