A query about a fetish issue - might be a sensitive topic, I don't know
Posted: June 16th, 2022, 4:03 am
Hey folks,
I have a particular fetish or sexual interest that is enjoyable for me that I feel has become a part of who I am through my upbringing in terms of a religious lifestyle that didn't permit masturbation in my youth.
The thing is - I am concerned sometimes that maybe it's not exactly a totally acceptable fetish in the eyes of some, but not all.
We have a bdsm 'house' in my town which provides legal access to such fetishes through dominatrixes and such. I've actually spent some time (and money) with them - a couple of dommes who roleplayed out this fetish for me, which is actually on their roster as part of their normal activities.
The fetish is one of being threatened with castration for failing various sexual tests and challenges - although no actual harm or injuries are ever actually performed or desired, naturally. So I've actually enjoyed a session where two dommes tied me up, and threatened me with dismemberment and such. It was one of the best sessions I've ever experienced. (And no orgasms were involved either).
So - at these bdsm places, it's quite a common activity on the roster to engage with one or more of the mistresses.
However the difficulty I find is that - while I can enjoy the simulated or mock versions of such, over the years I've seen a tiny handful of pornographic videos where the male actor's performance seemed a little too realistically frightened and pained to know whether it was just all part of the act or where something horribly wrong actually occurred. I don't like these. And in fact - the few videos over the years I've seen where it seemed a little too real have scared the bejeesus out of me about porn sometimes - and the nature of what may or may not go on off camera.
I guess since about 2015 I've been haunted by the possibility that sometimes, the men in porn films don't always 'have a nice time' so to speak off camera - to put it mildly.
I have no idea how to address this haunted feeling I get - even a video where a man is given a handjob but you don't see his face, or hands, or upper torso leaves me questioning at times - has something dark happened off camera that we're not shown.
That's one of the reasons these days why I only watch videos where there are solo female performers, or multiple female performers and no males involved - I have this unnerving fear that potentially something could have happened out of sight of the camera that we're not told about or shown.
Do you have any thoughts on this issue?
I have a particular fetish or sexual interest that is enjoyable for me that I feel has become a part of who I am through my upbringing in terms of a religious lifestyle that didn't permit masturbation in my youth.
The thing is - I am concerned sometimes that maybe it's not exactly a totally acceptable fetish in the eyes of some, but not all.
We have a bdsm 'house' in my town which provides legal access to such fetishes through dominatrixes and such. I've actually spent some time (and money) with them - a couple of dommes who roleplayed out this fetish for me, which is actually on their roster as part of their normal activities.
The fetish is one of being threatened with castration for failing various sexual tests and challenges - although no actual harm or injuries are ever actually performed or desired, naturally. So I've actually enjoyed a session where two dommes tied me up, and threatened me with dismemberment and such. It was one of the best sessions I've ever experienced. (And no orgasms were involved either).
So - at these bdsm places, it's quite a common activity on the roster to engage with one or more of the mistresses.
However the difficulty I find is that - while I can enjoy the simulated or mock versions of such, over the years I've seen a tiny handful of pornographic videos where the male actor's performance seemed a little too realistically frightened and pained to know whether it was just all part of the act or where something horribly wrong actually occurred. I don't like these. And in fact - the few videos over the years I've seen where it seemed a little too real have scared the bejeesus out of me about porn sometimes - and the nature of what may or may not go on off camera.
I guess since about 2015 I've been haunted by the possibility that sometimes, the men in porn films don't always 'have a nice time' so to speak off camera - to put it mildly.
I have no idea how to address this haunted feeling I get - even a video where a man is given a handjob but you don't see his face, or hands, or upper torso leaves me questioning at times - has something dark happened off camera that we're not shown.
That's one of the reasons these days why I only watch videos where there are solo female performers, or multiple female performers and no males involved - I have this unnerving fear that potentially something could have happened out of sight of the camera that we're not told about or shown.
Do you have any thoughts on this issue?